Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Gythia Crown

I want to talk tonight about the Gythia Crown. This is a crown one gets to wear when they become a priestess in the Asatru religion--even by fiat. This crown is huge! Do you remember Glenda the good witch from the Wizard of Oz? Well her crown, tall and fancy as it is, is very similar to the Gythia Crown. However, the Gythia Crown is like a tomato cage turned upside down and festooned with all kinds of bright and sparkly things at different times to distract the unwary from critical thought.

For example, the crown might be festooned with red and orange chili pepper lights for Cinco de Mayo, which somehow ends up being started by some Nordic Mexicans who had a keg or something. Come Halloween, it is decked out in a patchwork of orange and red foliage with sinsiterly grinning jack-o-lantern lights to dazzle the unwary. Later in the winter, the same icecicle lights people hang from their eves for Christmas hypnotize the unprepared Vikings among us. And so it goes.

It makes me wonder if I suddenly declare myself Icelandic, start calling myself Ruadhan Deansson, and suddenly start pronouncing divination of people's dreams from my high, volcanic pinacle, does that mean I can also start wearing an upside down tomato cage with electric lights on it? I think I would look awesome, particularly in some T-shirts from JC Penny. JC Penny is my favourite fat-boy store and it reminds me of Gwen and Parker because they live in Kemmerer where the very first JC Penny store resides. Love them! I really need to drive up there for a visit, even if Joe doesnt come along. Just need to go. And bring my tomato cage . . . just in case I get caught in a battle of the crowns. I can bow my head and charge knowing that I might not kill my opponent by the weight and experience of the crown I wear, but more by its electric potential!

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